Jul 29, 2013

I'm not having the WORST night ever. I lost my "center" as they say? Meditation is impossible, nothing is working. I am in one of those life sucks so kill me now moods and I don't think I'm in them often, not like this. So maybe can u send some positive vibes or pray for me please? I only ask cause I think it really helps. Not for sympathy, just because I need it. I don't want anything at all, only for the pain inside to go away. That's all. I'm just trying to get back to peace. It's been 3 days of this. I post things to distract me or try to read or anything. I am OK with suffering, but needless suffering is silly. All the stuff you learn, if you can't apply it to yourself when it's needed isn't much use after all? Huh. I know what to do, I just can't. Is that weird to ask for prayers? I don't usually ask for help? If so sorry. I just like feel like I need to tell someone. Thanks. I don't want to talk even (which u know is rare) I just want to sleep. PTSD sucks and Im pretty sure that's all it is. I forget how the tiniest thing can set off a downfall sometimes. I was not expecting this. I thought I was past this part finally, but no.

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I'm not having the WORST night ever. I lost my "center" as they say? Meditation is impossible, nothing is working. I am in one of those life sucks so kill me now moods and I don't think I'm in them often, not like this. So maybe can u send some positive vibes or pray for me please? I only ask cause I think it really helps. Not for sympathy, just because I need it. I don't want anything at all, only for the pain inside to go away. That's all. I'm just trying to get back to peace. It's been 3 days of this. I post things to distract me or try to read or anything. I am OK with suffering, but needless suffering is silly. All the stuff you learn, if you can't apply it to yourself when it's needed isn't much use after all? Huh. I know what to do, I just can't. Is that weird to ask for prayers? I don't usually ask for help? If so sorry. I just like feel like I need to tell someone. Thanks. I don't want to talk even (which u know is rare) I just want to sleep. PTSD sucks and Im pretty sure that's all it is. I forget how the tiniest thing can set off a downfall sometimes. I was not expecting this. I thought I was past this part finally, but no.



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